2005-09-24T22:55:00.000-07:00

Soooo.... half way done the VSO pre-departure courses in Birmingham, UK. The first training course, Skills for Working in Development (SKWID) finished early this afternoon. Most people have gone back home to their respective countries. There is 4 of us out of 17 people remaining, and only 2-3 of us will be beginning the next course this evening to the next day, Sunday. Right now is brain overload, can't really think any more, but really enjoyed the past training. Sad to see people go after connecting with them for only one week (can u imagine what i'll be feeling when iam leaving Nigeria after TWO years of connecting with people?). However, that's not so much on my mind now, as much as my family and friends are. Now iam anxious to get home and see all of them. I found out several days ago that my departure date from Canada has been moved from 9th Oct. to 7th, which only gives me exactly 11 days (from the day I return home from UK) to spend quality time with family and friends. NOT ENOUGH TIME. It's way too soon and iam now already starting to feel home-sick (not liking the feeling at all!!). TWO YEARS AWAY, is slowly becoming a reality (a scary one mind you!) So mixed feelings...excited, but sad, homesick, scared, unsure at the same time, the brain hurts right now trying to process it all...but the heart doesn't lie nor pretend...Iam definately feeling the negative impact of leaving home, my family and my friends so soon, for such a long time....
I can now see and feel exactly what my parents are feeling (although maintaining support for me as always). At first I found it hard to see...concentrating only on the the excitment of going back to Nigeria and seeing the people i left behind. Now it is the other way around...two then one month has gone by way too fast and the remaining days (less than two weeks) have sneaked up on me without notice. Now every time I say it or think about it (the weeks), i can hardly hold back the tears. I actually feel a pang of pain in my heart, and can't help but think, this is exactly what my parents and especially my mother must be feeling. Heck, I can't imagine feeling any other way if i was to watch my child go away for such a long period, to a country I wasn't so sure about, where to be honest, inspite of it's relative stability, anything can and does happen. I would find it hard to swallow...yeah...i guess just like iam finding it hard to put into perspective the idea of two years away from my family. I could go on.

The Organizational Development (OD) training has started this evening. The 2-3 people that I'd thought would be in the course with me do not exist. It is only for me. One-on-one work-focused training, precisely for my placement. VSO decides who needs what training (following our personal profiles and skill sets sent to them) and delivers it as such, regardless of how many people are in the session. It is worth every last once of energy i have left from the past 5 days of SKWID. My brain is fried at this point, but if Marilyn Doyle and I had had to keep going, i'd have gladly done so. The information and knowledge is overwhelmingly rich and sastisfying. Marilyn Doyle...i could go on about her past work...it is a pleasure and privilege to be coached and trained by someone like her, someone who has trained, mentored and continues to be sought after by so many amazing people for her 'expertise'. So, no, i don't mind sitting and talking to her all night if she wanted to. Now i understand, wanting to breath, capture or freeze a moment in time of a given opportunity when you've got it in your reach.
Tomorrow our session continues, beginning at 9am and should end by 4:30pm. I hope we go longer. Then one more night at Harborne Hall in BH, UK, then off to London Sept. 27th, Monday morning around 8am. Nearly a 3 hour bus ride back to London, and a plane to catch by 3:30pm. Hope i don't miss my flight.
Wow, so anxious to see my family and friends, it's overwhelming... so many things to still wrap up...i swear i won't sleep until i get on that plane to Nigeria (and that's likely! It's happened before). I should really get to bed.

2005-09-01T11:44:00.000-07:00

Mmmmm.... a little bit over a year on the road (literally, and living out of a suitcase), (aside from the 6 months I stayed put in Nigeria and the two months in Uganda). Now in preparation to depart, yet again, for more volunteer work, adventure, new life, culture, demands, expectations, lack thereof expections(on my sided) and basically a whole new way of life. Scary uh? In some ways yes, on the other hand no. Constant change, diversty, constant moving/travelling and experiencing new ways of living IS the story of my life. That being the case, Iam not as concerned or consumed with the idea as I would otherwise be. However, my worries now consist of the pre-departure pressures....no time, no money, anxious, over active or hyperactive i don't know. Really excited. Afraid iam gonna forget to accomplish crucial things before departure. I've only done this (pre-departure preparations) for what?... all my life??...but this time, two (2) years away consecutively is longer than i've ever been away from home...Winnipeg...wait, where is my home? Born in Uganda, grew up in Winnipeg, Canada; Lived and studied in Halifax, Novascotia; lived and traveled in various provinces, continents and countries around the world...loved and continue to love every moment of globe trotting, so "home" is, well...home is where the heart is i guess. And my heart is split... loving both the experiences and life of having been born and lived in a "developing" world, and having lived and grown up in a "developed" world (Canada). One cannot help but be affected and take with them, both the advantages and disadvantages of both worlds. As such, I cherish both worlds.
Back to the pre-departure worries and concerns...Currently in Halifax taking care of personal and professional (university) logistics. VSO's Preparing for Change (PFC) training course in Ottawa is over...went well. Next stop is in Birmingham, UK for VSO's SKWID (Skills and Working in Development???) training course. Still to get are my immunization/vaccination shots, cannot do without this, especially for a two-year placement. Get a load of this: Rabies shots (needing 3 of them) are a total of $640 something bucks, that's not including the $20/visit fee!! Talk about staying clear of mammals while overseas...or just getting the frigin vaccination...mmm good thing VSO covers these expenses.
Packing for a two-year placement is not easy, i'll tell ya that, especially when i already have a 'disability' of over packing for ANYTHING, two days, two weeks, two months....this is really gonna be a test for me. Iam conforted by the fact that it is much cheaper to get clothes made in Nigeria, than buying them...and WHAT BEAUTIFUL fabrics, designs and fashion Nigeria has!! So that takes the pressure of clothing. But the other stuff...mmmmm.
Oh yes, student loans, those two lovely student words....Thats' gonna be fun keeping up with the payments while away, since they offer no Interest Relief if one is OUT of the country...yeah, i guess i just couldn't lie about that...tempted, but i didn't. So setting that up, plus other financial responsibilities,RRSPs, GICs, Visas, Power of Attorney over all my finances...wait what finances...I GOT NO MONEY!! "So why don't you stay and first work and pay off your debts?" some people have asked. Well...there is a time for everything. And this is my time to do this, go overseas and contribute, learn, share, experience life and be what my passion calls me to be and do. International Development, and working or volunteering in an environment where, well...life is not exactly the ideal, is in my blood and flows in my veins for as long as I can remember. Seriously. It's amazing what one can learn from or living in "less than ideal" circumstances or for that matter, in what we THINK or percieve to be less than ideal environments, which may surprisingly, not be case where the Nationals or locals are concerned. Lesson learnt over time.
Anyway, soooo getting ready. Will be departing for Nigeria October 9th. Here's hoping that i'll have all the necessities accomplished by then. If not...well....life is not a straight path...we can plan, but the end result is not always the expected result. You learn and you move on.

EvelyneNigeria-HIV/AIDS n' Gender